I went to see Them Crooked Vultures play one of this year's Teenage Cancer Trust gigs at the Royal Albert Hall last night. The band were amazing, particularly Dave Grohl. But, what was even more inspirational was the work of the charity and the bravery of the young people who have suffered with this disease. Very moving.

As we all know, being a teenager is difficult enough without having to deal with cancer. Puts zits and getting dumped into perspective.

I realise that I will never set the world alight with my bass playing (I will settle for making the earth move). However, I believe that I can help make a difference.

I think that a change needs to be made.

Hello.

As you may have noticed, I've been a bit less than prolific with my blogging of late. Not feeling very wordy that's all. Anyway, I have now opened a Twitter account.

I am StevieHeath.

I intend to limit my input to musical related thoughts.

But rest assured, next time I need more than 140 characters to express myself - this is where I'll come. 

Things have been going well for the band recently. We have had a few good gigs on the trot, there seems to be a growing interest, and we had a good recording session in the studio last week. It seems that people have started to get it, but have we changed what ‘it’ is?

The other week we played our first private party in direct contravention of ‘The Essence’. It was actually very good – a Scenario C no less. But we did play our more crowd-pleasing songs, as well as a request! This also challenges what is written in ‘The Essence’, and I must say that in the days leading up to the gig there was consternation within the Rubb camp about whether we should have taken it on. My view all along was that it was a worthwhile experiment, and once we commit to something we should remain positive about it. Fortunately for me it worked out well and everyone enjoyed it.

It’s like we’re standing at the crossroads.

Bill Hicks used to reassure audiences who were a bit fazed by his routine by saying “Don’t worry – there will be knob jokes later”. And to an extent, that’s what we set out to do too. But, hey, a Scenario C is a Scenario C!

I think that we should continue to follow Gordon’s advice (start strong-end strong), but what about the middle? Your views…?

I was reminded of this one when we played in Witham last Saturday.

Basically pub gigs tend to fall into two main categories (based on a standard 21:00-23:00 gig):

Scenario A - The pub is empty when you turn up at 20:00. It remains much the same until magically filling up during your second set. Everyone starts to go nuts at 22:50 and then complains when you have to finish at 23:00.

Scenario B - The pub is heaving when you turn up at 20:00. It remains much the same until magically emptying just before you start at 21:00. And stays that way. This is particularly common in pubs that people stop at on the way to somewhere else.

Last Saturday was a typical Scenario B. Now, I'm not saying that there are not other variables. Occasionally a Scenario B can turn into a Scenario A. I almost added a Scenario C, where the audience goes nuts from the start through to the finish - it happens, but it's unusual.

So what can we conclude? Basically, this supports what Gordon told me (see earlier post - Hot Fun): Start with a powerful number and end with your most impressive. I don't think that most people pay much attention to what happens in the middle, but I do think they can tell whether you mean it or not - so DON'T BE LAME! (see earlier post - The Essence of the Rubb).

Hope this helps.

Anyway, I would appreciate your views on the above. As I have said before - I am quite easily swayed.

We had a great time at the North Street Tavern in Sudbury on Friday. The audience was superb, right from our impromptu tambourine player, through to the guest vocalist on 'Killing in the Name of'.

After the gig we were talking to a very nice man who I think was called Nigel. During our conversation he told me that his female friend had the most magnificent breasts in all of Sudbury.

This may or may not be true.

As a result, the next time we play this venue (23rd October) we will be hosting the 2009 Sudbury Best Breasts Competition. It is thought that there may me a new recipient of the title this year as the judging criteria will include 'obtainability'. Can't wait.



On Saturday evening I was having a deep and meaningful conversation with Big Dave (a neighbour) in his garden after a particularly delicious barbeque. 

"Why are we here?" He asked.
"I don't know", I replied.
"Because we can't smoke in the house".

So now you know.

Being the community spirited individual that I am, I went to Sara-Jane's house on Friday evening to borrow a microphone to be used at the football festival that was taking place on the village green on Saturday. I stayed a while for a chat, but despite being told that Scott was there - he was nowhere to be seen. Upon leaving, I saw a frog hopping around Sara-Jane's living room.

I think WITCHCRAFT is afoot here, and I am very concerned about Scott's welfare.

As a result, I have spent the weekend erecting a dunking stool by the village pond. If Sara-Jane sinks and drowns (and is therefore not guilty of witchcraft) all can be forgiven. If she floats, I fear that we may have to burn her at the stake. Either way, unless I have got the wrong end of the stick and Scott is, in fact, ok the next gig may be in jeopardy.

I will keep you posted.  

We were back at the Boar's Head on Saturday. After close to six weeks without a gig it felt great to get hot and sticky together again. The guy with the AC/DC tattoo on his leg was there again, and appeared to enjoy the two AC/DC covers we did. It was the best audience we've had there yet  - hopefully it will be even better in August. Can't wait until the next one.

Had a great chat about Muppets afterwards. I love being in this band.

I went to a christening on Sunday. At the party afterwards I met Gordon, who used to lead a boys brigade brass band in Glasgow. He gave me some simple but great advice on practicing (basically - don't practice your mistakes), how to start and end a set, how to easily recognise different musical intervals, and how effort is better than ability. He also explained to me how a trumpet works. I didn't know this and found it really interesting. Gordon was cool.

If my fantasy dinner party ever takes place (not likely as long as Bill and Frank insist on being dead) the conversation at some point is likely to move on to the subject of advertising. Bill Hicks once said that when a celebrity advertises or endorses a product they can no longer be trusted. There are a couple of recent examples that spring to mind of celebrities who, therefore, we can no longer trust:

- Iggy Pop, who recently advertised insurance for a company that, ironically, won’t insure musicians.

- Obi Wan Kenobi, who recently advertised a brand of aftershave. This one is particularly disappointing, given that neither Yoda nor Artoo Detoo, who have struggled to find work since the end of the Star Wars saga, have sunk to such levels. Imagine if Yoda advertised for L’Oreal “because worth it I am”. Or what if everyone’s favourite mech-droid entered into a licensing agreement with Ann Summers for the ‘Artoo-Dildo’.

Anyway, at what point does such commercialism become unacceptable in Bill’s eyes? Everyone in the entertainment industry is commercial in that they want people to go see a film, buy a CD or DVD or go to see them live. It makes me laugh when I read interviews with bands, and they claim not to be commercial. WHAT?!? They are being blatantly commercial right there, calling out to the kids who think that they’re ‘different’, whilst at the same time admitting that they’re not as good as, say, Radiohead or Metallica.

I think that the part that Bill found most objectionable is when celebrities advertise a product that bears no relation to the thing that they are famous for. A complete sell-out by people who don’t need the money, motivated by greed alone.

In my previous blog, which was about music magazines, I expressed annoyance at famous musicians advertising products that they then get for free. However, back in the 1960s Frank Zappa featured in a magazine advertisement for an electric organ. The advertising slogan was “This is the best fucking organ I ever played”.

I think Bill would forgive him.

And I think that if George Foreman was to say “my grill knocks seven barrels of shit out of the competition” he could be forgiven too.

Oh and by the way, Rose Kebab make the best fucking chicken donner I ever tasted.

Every once in a while I purchase a bass guitar magazine to read an article about a musician I admire, or just to catch up on what's going on. I realise that the purpose of these magazines is to sell overpriced equipment to people who can't afford it, won't know how to use it, and don't really need it, under the pretence that it will give them the ability to play and sound like their heroes. I was once in a band with a drummer who was convinced that the reason he wasn't very good was that he didn't have enough drums - but we've all been sucked in like this at some point, haven't we?

Occasionally the magazine will include a tutorial that claims to de-mystify the modes. Unfortunately, for me all the Latin words just tend to confuse the situation further. I have long regarded understanding the modes as being a 'holy grail' since hearing Billy Sheehan say that this was pivotal to his development as a musician. My understanding of the modes is currently as follows:
- If you play the notes of a major scale but start on different notes, you are playing different scales that have either a major or minor tonality. This can help with fretboard familiarisation. For example, being able to play the notes of a C major scale at any position on the neck.
- Most chords contain a root note, a third and a fifth. If you play the different modes when soloing or improvisiong it will give a slightly different 'feel' to what you are doing. Unfortunately I don't get much opportunity to try this out (see earlier post about guitarists).

Please let me know if I am missing something. But please, no Latin.

Victor Wooten says that you are never more than a half-step away from a right note. This is great advice. The secret to successful public speaking is conviction - and the same goes for the language of music.

As much as I would like to be able to play like Victor or Billy, I think that it would probably be more satisfying to be U2 or Coldplay's bass player. Very different approaches - who do you think has got it right?

 
 

Prior to moving to the wonderful Claydon rehearsal studios, we used to use Unit One studios in Colchester. At that time doner kebabs (from Rose Kebab at the top of Hythe Hill) and earl grey at Fred’s house were part of the regular pre-rehearsal routine for both The Rubb and previously for CatDesigners. This was seen as a right of passage, and I recall discussing with Fred in the early days of the Rubb whether Ed was ready to be invited round for kebabs. At a later stage the three of us had the same discussion about Sara-Jane.

During pre-rehearsal kebabs, Fred and I have occasionally discussed what six people, alive or dead, we would invite to a fantasy dinner party. Our lists would change, but there were three guests that we both agreed on:

1 Frank Zappa;
2 Bill Hicks;
3 Stephen Fry.

I hope the dates don’t clash!

My other three tend to vary, but I think that at any particular time I would be reasonably happy with the following:

4 David Lee Roth;
5 Flea;
6 Lisa Tarbuck.

The main drawback to this list is that it is a bit male orientated, so I would like Kylie Minogue and Geri Halliwell to do the waitressing.

I haven't thought much about the menu, but imagine that they would all go for Tex-Mex.

I also enjoy watching Julia Bradbury on Wainwright’s Walks, but would probably arrange a separate lunch date to discuss that with her.

I recall seeing a Beatles documentary a few years back, when the (then) surviving members were asked “Is love all you need?” They all replied “Yes”, although it was George Harrison who looked the most convinced about this.

Although the physical form also needs food, warmth, shelter etc. I would tend to agree with them. I would also say that love as all you really need to perform good music.

Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is a musician I have great admiration for, as much for his approach as his playing. He once said that to make good music the band needs to have love for one another (no sniggering at the back, please). I also agree with this.

I spent too many years in bands and gigging with musicians that I had little in common with. The gigs sometimes felt like a second job, as opposed to a pleasure, and the highlight was getting paid and going home. This situation is all too common, and I believe that an audience can sense it.

In more recent years I am happy to say that I have been in two bands – The Rubb and CatDesigners (see www.catdesigners.co.uk) – where I describe gigs and rehearsals to other people as a night out with my friends. Whereas I used to resent rehearsing (because we didn’t get paid) it is now one of the highlights of the week. To me, at least, the music is good and getting better all the time.

Just as none of us tell our families and loved ones how we feel about them often enough, I have never really told my band mates how much I appreciate them – but I will get round to it one day.

If the tone of this blog appears a bit soppy to you, go and listen to ‘Do You Realise’ by the Flaming Lips. It may change your whole outlook.

I first spoke to Ed Kragh when he called me on the first day of the 2007/08 football season. I was sitting eating a tray of chips in Portman Road before watching Ipswich Town beat Sheffield Wednesday 4 - 1. A good omen I thought.

I almost didn't respond to the advertisement Ed had placed in Peach Guitars at Blake End because it sounded a little arrogant. But then I realised that all the best guitarists are almost unbearably arrogant so I sent a message and the rest, as they say, is history (well maybe not yet).

After a meeting at The Essex Cricketers and a few jam sessions at Justice's we soon determined what the objectives for the new band were:

- To play songs that we've always loved, and always wanted to play.
- To play every gig (and indeed every note) like it's our last - because one day it will be.
- To play songs that will stretch us and improve us as musicians.
- To be unlike any other pub-rock band.

I hope we never forget this.

Oh, I forgot. No functions or tribute bands.

We have all seen the shots of teenage girls screaming, fainting and being carried away from Elvis and Beatles concerts. Wow - that is raw emotion right there. The real deal.

Is it the same now when we see shots of teenage girls (and boys) reacting in a similar way to the latest non-threatening-teen-boy-band-beat-combo, or have we been 'programmed' to react in this way? I expect it feels just as real to the screamers and fainters of today, but the teenagers of the 1950's and 60's had no blueprint to follow (I think Hitler sometimes had a similar impact on his audience, but those are deep and treacherous waters there matey).

We all do it when we go to gigs - cheerin' and hollerin' before the band even plays a note, and then going nuts after every song. Why? Is it just because we're enjoying ourselves, or is it because it is what we believe the succulent rock star that we have already paid out the best part of a weeks wages to see expects of us, and we've seen other people do the same thing on telly? I hope it's the former.

Maybe it's the same in a pub-rock scenario. We all love it when the audience makes a lot of noise - it's good for our egos, because we all just want to be loved. But I really hope that when it happens it's not contrived and is a reflection of people having a genuinely good time.

For the most part I have no issues with the audience. In 25 years of playing (I picked up the bass at birth) I have only ever been thumped on stage once, only ever hit a member of the audience with my bass once, and can count occurences of all out warfare on one hand. There's only one thing that really annoys, and that's when people try to talk to me while I'm playing. I acknowledge that the bass guitar is the second easiest instrument in the world to master, but there are three points that I'd like to make to anyone tempted to ask me if we can do *______(*insert song of your choice here - it's normally Mustang Sally) when I'm doing my funky groove thang:

1 - I can't hear you
2 - Even if I could hear you, I can't talk when I'm playing so can't respond
3 - You're pissed. Your breath smells

So if anyone tries to do that to me ever agin, I'll lick their face. You have been warned!    

All Hail!

I was talking to Fred the other day about music tuitional DVDs, when he pointed out that no-one had yet produced a DVD on how to be a successful pub-rock musician. I'm probably not the best man for that job, but I will be using this dark little corner of our website (Rubbsite) to share with you my musings about The Rubb, pub-rock, music and life in general. However, I must point out that any views expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect those of The Rubb, and indeed I am quite easily swayed and tend to change my mind about most things. 

I'll be back when I've thought of something...